Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize