can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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