Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
