I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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