Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
