i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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