Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
