i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
