I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
