I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My dick has a subreddit
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
