these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
