can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
