I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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