So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
