just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
