hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
