omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
