I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My feet surprised me
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