Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
