do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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