i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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