She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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