The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
