Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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