So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
