My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
