I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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