Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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