You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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