Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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