also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Randomize
