He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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