I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
