she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize