My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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