I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
