This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
