i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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