He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize