I'm eating all of the evidence.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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