that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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