Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
