I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
