saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
