she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
