he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
