I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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