i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
