If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
