People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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