yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
