maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
