Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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