omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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