you guys were way drunker than both of me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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