Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
false alarm. still invincible.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
