i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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