susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
