4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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