You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
